help me chasing her

When Saddam was about to strike Kuwait, he wasn’t dumb  not to realize that it would evoke the whole world against him. Gandhiji knew his family would be spoilt if he throws all his attention to the nation alone. And I too took a similar call when I proposed to her.

Hold on buddy, yup I knew the will those great people had, as they foreseen the positive outcome, was giga folds than mine. Still my stake was as precious as theirs, for me its her friendship.

And as soon as they stepped into their quest, in the nascent stage there ware signs of losing their stake, yet they said to themselves ‘no looking back’… ;-)

As a friend I had ran behind her for some time of her with me. Whenever she was not be able to make it, unlike with other friends where my strong ego would never let me show that I felt upset, strangely I went back to her with a sad face asking her not to let me feel the same way again.

Similar more other such patterns rang a bell in me. It sounded ‘she is your girl’.

The very first thought was, “hey don’t behave like a typical guy”. I sat down thought through it, put all my sense just to make sure not to fool myself around with such thoughts.

At a point in time I realized that I kept ignoring the voice of my heart.

Yet there were handful of human oddities between us those would stand on the way wearing masks such as race, acceptance, etc. My heart simply said, “love for the person” would thrive through then and I just need to feed it with patience and tolerance for pain until then.

When I first messaged my proposal, after a long silence she said ‘no’, but also assured me that this act of mine had not hampered our friendship. She quoted the human oddities as the reason for the ‘no’ and there will also be lot of silence.

The worst part is she had never let me talk on this with her in person. Stealing some phrases of one of my favorite song “Its only words. words are all I’ve to take her heart away”. I’d never got my eyes to talk to her’s.

And I’ve a strong feeling that her silence is not an un-matured way of  saying get lost. After all she is the one who made realize humans are never flawless and beauty of any sustaining relation lies on the tolerance of such flaws.

I would give up on this pursuit, provided she proves me that the thought I’ve is impossible.

I’d had tried and would keep trying all possible things to topple the spinning coin and choose its side ( secretly I’m working to make it fall on my favor ;) ). It might be as stupid as putting myself low.

Its end of story time, now tell me what do you feel. Am I missing something that she signals me to stop these ‘bullshit’, as girls would love to call it. Or if you feel I make some sense, bestow me with your help in chasing her and let me ‘take her heart away’