She loved me, I killed her

The police officer took the knife carefully from my hands, with which I severed her throat, stained with her blood. As my hands were braced with lock and walked out of her home, her mom came running behind me thudding me at my back though it was very mild for me it was with her maximum strength. I could still hear her mother’s cry even after the police vehicle into which I was lodged passed a street away from her home.

I pushed my temples between the palms of my hands whose elbows were rested over the laps. As on the road, away from her family’s cry and crush from the press, I got a moment to slip my mind to yesterday’s night when I got that call from her.

Unusual from her jovial tone, I heard her so anxious and it had a weird openness, fear and urgency. She, ”could you come down here, everyone at home away tonight, I need you around”. Though the sentence sound romantic literally it was uttered with a voice that was shocked and that needed a moral backing.

As I stepped into her house, she came running to me and hugged me tightly burring her head into my chest. As I could hear her weeping, I let her to lose heavy heart. It was so pathetic to look at her like this, she was one of a confidence I’d in my life. During college days though she make fun at me in group, when I show anxiety during eleventh hours of exams, placement and their results, every time she make sure she manages a private moment of holding my hand, with a brief nod of head and cheerful words giving me loads of strength.

As she calmed down, when I was about to ask her about the horror I sensed, she stopped me pleading, “dear don’t ask me anything tonight, I had enough for the day”. In spite of the toughness attached to her request, the genuineness in her body language made me oblige.

Sitting over the kitchen’s slab, watching a women, who love me, cooking with us alone speaks their heart, be it my mother or sister, and now it is her. I was doing a fixed gaze on floor, she called me by name graciously and said, “I know you always loved me and you know, I loved you from the very first moment. But my family is too conventional to understand these, held me back”. Taking few minutes to take that in, as she was facing the stove busied cooking, I walked to her back, held her both forearms softly, rested my chin on her shoulder eyes closed, with a warm smile she ruffled my hairs and said, “cheer up dear”.

After the delicious food, I took her to bed. Exhausted after hours in bed, we were calmly lying with my arms around her, she pillowing my chest for her cheeks. Breaking the silence she asked, ”would you tolerate if someone harms our kid”, after a pause she told “you should kill them”. She asking this, an old incident came to my mind. Once when I was worriedly talking to her about a girl who ditched me, because I run into an accident with the girl in my back seat, she laughed at me and told, “of course, first thing a girl expects in a relation with a guy is guaranty of her safety”. Having that in mind I told “Sure,” and continued “it got a long way, first we have to get married and then give birth to beautiful kids you worried for and then lets worry about those odds”. For which she replied, “I fear our marriage would never happen” and hugged me tightly. As was about interrupt her, calling out my name with a compassion she continued “just for tonight, don’t ask me anything”. With that we slept.

Morning, I slipped out of bed with a intolerable feel that she would not be a part of my life anymore. Having a day worth living, I went for the knife in the kitchen, I did not had enough strength to bear the pain of knife across my nerves, but idea of being convicted and sentenced sounded more lite for me, though I didn’t know how realistic the idea would be. Moreover my mind was not in a state to work out the logics behind. Making up my mind, I walked straight into the bedroom, and severed her throat as she was lying in bed unaware of what I was up to.

A sudden break of the police vehicle brought me back to the present. I dug my hands into the pants pocket and took out that note I treasured there, and read it again, as it goes like this, “dear, I ran down a infant to death last evening in a dark street who unexpectedly eloped from her mother’s hand. It happened so quick that I could break my scooter. Though I got out from there unnoticed, I cannot live with it. I’m poisoning myself. Thanks dear for your time with me, you completed my life”. The note clutched in her dead hand when I woke up in the morning.

Cheers J

Deepak

catch my thoughts @

do, do, do reply me. My first attempt with a tragedy. Biting my nails to hear back.