When I was drunk, I became what I liked to be.
In a conversation, when some comment or joke or funny incident stuck my mind, ‘normally*’ before I could finish thinking of “would it make sense to tell it here” the context of conversation changes, so I miss the timing badly and so I would remain silent. Eventually this would make me a dull listener in the group rather than an interesting contributor of the conversation. When ‘drunk’ the voicing of any thing stuck my mind replaced any thinking.
First time ever I was part of discussion with Roy “me talking”, in group of friends I cracked some jokes and everywhere I talked without any kind of fear (except that I would get a pink slip ;)).
Appreciating others, ‘normally*’ I won’t do it explicitly. My egos would not let me. The egos briefed.
- Would the person being appreciated think I’m trying impress or please them (I’m not able to find a appropriate word, help with a better word here).
- ‘Why should I appreciate now’, the lethargy. I can do it anytime in future. But the ‘anytime’ never comes.
- When it comes to girls, would they think I’m trying to flirt.
And when I was drunk :) :) none of this thought comes up to my head. I just walked to the person, sometimes pulled them aside, stopped others from interrupting us and told them what made me feel they are worthy humans.
Similarly when it comes to giving some feedback to someone, I mostly put a step back with the fear of how the person would take it. But when I was drunk, I pulled out the personals and talked to them. And I liked the way I put it across.
Being ‘normal*’ now, it’s a lie if I say “I don’t remember what I said when I was drunk”. Being drunk I didn’t walked to some random person and said some random things. I meant what I said to anyone.
All this makes me conclude, when I’m drunk I don’t think (or relatively very less thinking) before doing or saying anything. Hence exposing my inner self as such. Incidentally he turned out to be good guy ( as he is ;) ) though idiot as the ability to think was disabled.
